Chapter 1: The Good Old Days

n old man sits in the corner of a popular watering hole for the middle caste, a customer here for what feels like a thousand years and perhaps for another thousand, given it's still standing at that time. He's one of the few who still remembers what it was like to live on the old planet. His wrinkled face stands out even in dark corner; the modern anti-aging treatments though revolutionary were successful on very few elderly. Lucky to be alive, he finds himself in a world of youth. A world that knows little, if anything at all, of where it's from. Though well known and well liked, he generally keeps to himself. But every so often, especially when the room gets full, he jumps on a table and says:

"I'd like to tell you about the place where I grew up way back in the good old days. Kids always had places to play, plastic swings plastic everything. We raised 'em good as best we could.

"Pardon me, gotta call...

"Vibrate and ring! The telephone just wants to sing. We were saving room for dessert, wetting our whistles on bottles of corn. We weren't spoiled, just waiting for the Chinese take over on the edge of our La-Z-Boys.

"Orion, Leo. They're kinda far, so we made up our very own stars and wondered who'd be the next to go crazy. Will it be Angelina Jolie, Brad, or their new baby? Just watch the magazines until...

"Pardon me again.

"Vibrate and ring!

"Hullo?

"The telephone just wants to sing. We were saving room for dessert, wetting our whistles on bottles of corn. We weren't spoiled, just waiting for the Chinese take over on the edge of our La-Z-Boys.

Yeah, I remember. I remember it well. It's all coming back!

We were wettin' our whistles on bottles of corn, stealin' our hundred of channels of porn,
re-electing politicians that brought us war, not knowing who to believe anymore, stayin' inside even when it's warm. In the good old days we didn't ask for more."

Chapter 2: Purrrfect

nd then he speak of Steve "the Cat", a recurring character whose meaning his audience would never quite grasp. Possibly this was his metaphor for an ages old form of so called "social rebellion", a reference only a man of his years could understand. But, perhaps, Steve was simply a slick dude.

"Look what the cat dragged in. It's a nice little present for you, man. He doesn't really like you, but he's trying the best he can 'cause you see he's got a real nice house; he's got a real nice car; he's got a real nice family and a dog who needs a dog psychiatrist;
and, they're all depending on him.

"He was in the office every day, keepin' real busy. He used to think it was okay. He'd work 'till he was dizzy. He said it was because he's got a real nice house; he's got a real nice car; he's got a real nice family and a dog who needs a dog psychiatrist; and, they're all depending on him.

"But now he's lost, he's lost his mind! Everyone's asking: 'Where did the cat go? He's not in the bag and he's wearing pajamas to work!' He thinks you're trying to fire up the grill and make what you might call a 'purrrfect' burger at the corporate BBQ.

"Yup, he's lost. Steve 'the Cat' is lost. He's lost his mind!

'Where did the cat go? He's not in the bag and he's wearing pajamas to work!' And he thinks you're trying to fire up the grill and make him into a 'purrrfect' burger at the corporate BBQ.

"Does he need to be reminded that he's got a real nice house?

"'Barbecue!', his horrific scream.

"..and that he's got a real nice car?

"'Help!!!'

"... and that he's even got a real nice family and a dog who needs a dog psychiatrist? They're all depending on him."

Chapter 3: Buoy, It's Good To Be Home

he other day some Mormons came down. I invited them in, offered them perogies. They told me about an exciting place. They said follow. And I followed. I followed and now I feel just like a buoy lost at sea. Maybe I'm meant for the prairie.

"Maybe it's better when there's nothing to see. For miles and miles, there's hardly a tree. I've returned to my fields; I'll plant 'em in spring. They lay fallow. They were waiting for me when I felt like a buoy lost at sea. Maybe I'm meant for the prairie.

"My father's been growing some barley. 'Hey mom! Where's the yeast?' Let's brew up some cheer and have a big party to celebrate this year's bountiful harvest. Thank God.
Thanks for all that's been given to me.

"I don't feel like a buoy lost at sea now that I'm back on the prairie. I felt like a buoy lost at sea. Maybe I'm meant for the prairie."

Chapter 4: Strawberry Jam

he tails of his beloved home would continue, describing this and that almost at random, giving the appearance that there was little order at all in his stories. Only his regular listeners would know the old man's ramblings were actually in chronological order.

"I went downstairs, stuck my head in the freezer to see what's there for me this time. I'm not sure what I'm looking for, but I got a hankerin' for something. I'm not really hungry, just not quite sure what I really want. And, how could I ask for more than 'strawberry jam '94'?

"Now back in the kitchen, I threw the jam in the zapper. Sure hope it won't hurt my gray mush. Killin' cells while I'm killing time!

"Then I see the cat outside, it's looking like he wants to come in here and hang with me now. And, how can he ask for more than a snooze on the kitchen floor? But, how can I blame him for going to the couch when I'm not even satisfied myself? I'm not even satisfied with strawberry jam.

"We're all bored as hell as far as me and this pussy cat can tell. But, maybe these here lollipops are life on a stick.

Chapter 5: From the Moron

ey, there! Don't you think I'm a moron to say 'stay here' because what if someone else calls me to play?

"We could move to California. We could have ourselves some skinny children. Yeah, maybe we should go somewhere warm. Somewhere it's summer now.

"But I'm running around, glass slipper in hand. I got my Hollywood standards. When all I need is an old sneaker, right? But I'd need to lace it up real tight.

"Maybe velcro is more of my style, change into a different pair once in a while. Or, we could paint the house yellow, livin' some place nice and mellow. Come Hell or high water. I'd say 'come, bring it on'.

"But I'm too busy running 'round, glass slipper in hand. I got my Hollywood standards, when all I need is an old sneaker, right? Lace it up real tight.

Chapter 6: Spring

his is the spring time coming through. It's the time of year when your outfit brings out the blue in your eyes even if they're brown. Though the rain is coming down, the snow don't cover the ground anymore.

"I know the Earth's birthday is on the 21st of June, but whoever made that up must have been living on the Moon: The birds are chirping; the air is clear; girls are flirting; summer's near. So, give me a "springtime yeah!"

"This is the spring time coming through. Your outfit brings out the blue in your eyes even if they're brown. The rain is coming down, but the snow don't cover the ground anymore.

"I'm singing this song because winter's finally through. It wasn't that bad, but spring's way too good to be true.

"For everything bad, there's always worse; for everything good, there's always better.

"Spring's here things are new, fresh and clear.

"You know, I believe it's true: spring's here."

Chapter 7: R.I.P. Cuddling King

n and on into the night and sometimes the early morning, the stories would flow from him. There would be the occasional long pause as he tried to remember his place, prompting his attentive audience to make suggestions.

"Lonnie!", one young woman shouted from the back. "Tell us about your love life!"

"I was at the store, cruisin' down the produce aisle. You should know I got no ring and what I saw next just made me wanna sing:

"I saw you at Harry's. I was so impressed; you looked so good in that Lavender dress. I thought you'd be shoppin' at a fancier place. But, there you were standing next to the grapes. You lit up the store with your beautiful face.

"I knew I should say something, but I was busy lookin' at the muffins. The expiry date was later than today. I need to say something now, okay?

"But just when I thought I was brave enough to say, 'I want you more than any other thing', our eyes met and you let out a smile. Then I headed for the canned goods aisle to commit peanut butter suicide. I'll see you on the other side!

"Yeah, I saw you at Harry's. I was so impressed; you looked so good in that Lavender dress. I thought you'd be shoppin' at a fancier place. But, there you were standing next to the grapes. I was so impressed. What a lovely lavender dress. You lit up the store with your beautiful face.

Chapter 8: Cat's Away, Mice Will Play

ittin' here on the porch, starin' up at the night sky. We're here in this small town where there's something in the air. Listen to the frogs go on and on. We decide that we can't understand them but then that ain't saying much. They croak and croak. We dream and we hope.

"'Let's go for a drive'. I have a surprise planned out. It's nothing but an old blanket somewhere there in the trunk. Let's lay it out on the grass far enough so even if a car will pass it won't bother us at all.

"And as we lie here I'm thinking about how you'll be leaving, the responsibilities I'm keeping and what I'm keeping them for.

"I say 'Why don't we run away?'

"You say 'Sure', but I know you're just playing along with my joke. You smile and laugh. I love when you do that.

"And as we're staring up, hypnotized, seeing forever, a great big flash of light splits the night; a space ship descends. You ask me 'Are they here for us?' We're now standing hand-in-hand; my left cortex is shuttin' down.

"'I think they must have that in mind!'

"So this is goodbye.

"Adios amigos. So long! I bid you farewell. Au revior! Good bye! See ya later!"

Chapter 9: The Cat Came Back

nd the scenes would start to get a little ridiculous as the party wound down at some late hour. Domestic responsibilities creeping back into their minds, the patrons gradually dispersed. How effortless the slide into the old man's world had been; how disappointing the return to their abrasive realities.

Turning towards the door, their hearts tried to hold on, not wanting to let go just yet, but their minds assured them that that was what was required.